i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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