3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Everything about him screamed your future.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I forget how to act sober
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
