Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
