Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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