I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
