you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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