I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
