After last night, I could never be a politician.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
