so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
