i don't like sucking hair
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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