Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize