I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
