Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
