Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
