you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize