You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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