U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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