vagina is talking i cant
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have fence marks all over my body
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize