If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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