I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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