she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
