is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
