Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
