Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
