I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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