Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize