We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
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What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
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A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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