Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
