Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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