But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
