dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
