is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
