So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize