Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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