i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
