why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
id be glad to
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
