it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize