sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
