He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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