i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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