Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
