cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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