I think i peed on brittanys purse
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
