Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize