I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
