we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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