brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
