so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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