my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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