covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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