Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
