just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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