i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
