Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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