Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
