We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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