4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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