He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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