wrigley field is MILF paradise
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.