I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
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so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.