Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
