So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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