Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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