Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
