I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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